What Love Means to Me

Love. Big sigh.

If you have a fairytale relationship/marriage then you will completely disagree with some things I’m going to say but for most of us, the road to love has been rocky and covered with hot coals.

More often than not, I’ve chosen the wrong man to love. It’s never been intentional but I am a firm believer in following your heart even while my brain is screaming Danger, Danger!  I’ve always sought that love story that we all yearn for as little girls, the love story my grandparents had. The simple, unconditional kind of love. Does it exist anymore?

It goes like this…you meet someone single & attractive. They seem to be sane. In the beginning, everyone is on their best behavior. You both do all the right things, say the right things, act the right way then things begin to change and the crazy comes out! Maybe not the crazy but most of you know what I mean, they stop doing the little things that, although small, are important, they stop being who they pretended to be at first or they just move on to someone else while still dating you.

If some parts of love wasn’t stressful enough, social media makes it ten times worse. If you are a cheater, it’s a hotbed of available women/men who have very little respect for your commitment status. If you seek attention such as flirting or compliments, it doesn’t take long to find it on the world wide web. Don’t get me wrong, I have met some wonderful people through Facebook or IG and it’s great for keeping up with friends and family members but it’s also great for keeping some messenger secrets.

I’ll admit, I’ve been cheated on more times than I can count. Every time it hurt until the point, I became numb and gave up the fight. If someone is going to do it, they will find a way regardless of how you feel. Once upon a time, I thought it was me and maybe that I wasn’t good enough or pretty enough but then I realized it wasn’t that at all.  There can be many reasons why someone cheats but the leading factor, I believe, is someone’s insecurities. With some exceptions, I feel men and women cheat for different reasons..for men, it’s usually purely physical and for women, it’s definitely more emotional.

Love shouldn’t hurt you mentally, physically or financially. Love heals. Love didn’t reject you or leave you wondering, someone who doesn’t know how to love did all those things. It can’t be forced or fabricated, it’s better to be single then to be with the wrong person as I’ve experienced. You cannot make someone love you. You cannot force others to be faithful or respectful, that has to come from within.

Love yourself first and foremost and believe that you deserve to be happy and loved by an amazing person. You deserve someone who would bag the moon and stars for you. Be patient and give yourself time to heal after a relationship. Going from person to person is not healthy, take a break. Focus on you so that you don’t hurt the next person by bringing negative energy into their life.

Lastly, when you meet that person who is different, who is constantly on your mind, take your time. Don’t rush things, be patient. Love is friendship set on fire. Learn to wait. Don’t lie. Be respectful. Communication is key. Don’t settle. Their time is just as precious as yours. Don’t take advantage of someone’s love, it’s not fair to either of you. No matter how many times I’ve been hurt by someone I loved, I will never give up on it. Love is so special and I can’t wait to share it with someone who feels the same way I do.

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